You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
