1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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