So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
