I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize