we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
