If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
