the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
