sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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