is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize