my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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