i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
