In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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