I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
