Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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