I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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