im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
