i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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