I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
