how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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