Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
