when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Terrible idea I love it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
