I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
