I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am one with the molecules
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
