I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
