The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
