I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
