Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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