Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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