but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
being pregnant is like rehab
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
