As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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