Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
