Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
