all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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