You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
