It's Friday. Sex?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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