me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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