ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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