Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
