I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
