butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
