i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
