My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
