Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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