Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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