another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
