It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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