At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
