I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
