FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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