After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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