Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed