I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Randomize
