Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize