You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
