I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
