Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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