This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
