So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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