I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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