Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So vagazzling was a success
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
