During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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