Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Non-Jews are for practice
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
