I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
