i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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