I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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