what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
