whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
